I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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