If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
