I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
