I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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