Can Purell be used as lube?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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