The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
