I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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