Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
