If i come over, it means nothing
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
