Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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