You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
