you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
