Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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