Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
