Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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