How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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