Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
