Your tits are I can't wait for
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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