i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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