We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
