I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
