Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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