thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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