If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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