I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
