ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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