Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize