it's like iHOP with fire
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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