dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
