The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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