3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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