i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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