It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
it's great music for shaving your balls
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
