he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I think your dad took our porno
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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