the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
