i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
