you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
