Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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