its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
