Porn is love you can see.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
