Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
