Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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