I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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