You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
