I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
