So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
