I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
