whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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