happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
