i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
and she was petting her beer can
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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