I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Vodka?
Forever.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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