He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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