let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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