I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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