Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
