I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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