Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Boobs are out for the taking
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize