I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Actions speak louder than pants.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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