This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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