at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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