There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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