Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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