I wannas sexs uuuuu
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
