So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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