WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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