is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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