God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
