Don't EVER smell your tampon
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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