I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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