Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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