Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
