I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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