Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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