everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize