I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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