New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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