Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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