if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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