This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
time to smoke my breakfast
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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