I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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