You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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