"it" just moved
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
