you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She told me I should be a condom model.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
