is your mom at the bar?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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