A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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