my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
