That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
