Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
