The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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