TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
