The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
