How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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